


i love you (and the goats, too)

by anoddconstellationofthoughts



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Goats, M/M, Pansexual Bucky Barnes, Stucky - Freeform, and a teeeensy bit of angst, except for the gay, gay gay gay gay gay, no especially the gay, she did not ask for this, shuri has become the stucky babysitter, so apologies to shuri and everyone else involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15423864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoddconstellationofthoughts/pseuds/anoddconstellationofthoughts
Summary: “Hey, Buck?”Bucky hummed into Steve's shoulder in acknowledgment.“Remember when we did this before the war?”Bucky closed his eyes and hummed again. Steve had been smaller, and Bucky could have easily covered his entire body with his own. It was a little different then.“And I told you that I loved you, even if you couldn't say it back?”Steve took a shaky breath. “You know that's still true, right? Always was. Before and after and during everything.” The hand holding Bucky's has been tightening its grip slowly as Steve had talked, and now it was clutching Bucky in a death grip.“Til the end of the line, pal,” Bucky breathed.Steve released his grip on Bucky's hand and turned around to face him, eyes wide and hopeful. “Til the end of the line.”steve and bucky reunite after civil war and do a little healing. fluff ensues.





	i love you (and the goats, too)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a_static_world](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_static_world/gifts).



> for the ever lovely a_static_world for betaing all my work (except for (most) of this one ehehe) and putting up with my endless rambling.  
> (also, i'm sorry, this was supposed to be a fic about skyping, but yknow what, you got a little at the end, that's good enough. i tried.)  
> anyways, go check her out, she's painful and horrible and amazing and it's great. it's. great.  
> onward!

The first time Bucky saw Steve after being unfrozen again, he almost wet his pants.

Alright, to be fair, saying he “almost wet his pants” is a bit of an exaggeration, but still.

Missions? Sure. Rescue ops? No problem. High security, high-risk assassinations? Sign him up. Okay, maybe not the assassination part, Bucky wasn’t really a fan of killing people now that he had his free will back, but his point still stands: he can deal with almost anything.

But Steve… not so much.

When T’Challa had pulled Bucky out of cryofreeze, he didn’t explain much, only that he was in a safe place and that his programming had been disabled, so he should take the time to heal, instead of staying frozen. Bucky had wanted to protest, but Okoye had given him a sharp look, and when T’Challa said, “We will need a warrior like you,” he had found himself unable to say no.

After the technicians in the medical ward, Shuri was the first person T’Challa introduced Bucky to. It had been brief, as they all had other places to go, but T’Challa said that Bucky would be working with her quite regularly at some point, and she seemed nice enough.

Then was the village.

No one was afraid of him there. They didn’t necessarily trust him at first, but no one bothered him. Children played with his hair and gave him flowers and food, and the adults just laughed and gave him knowing looks. He did his part, mostly the little heavy lifting and physical labor that he could do, one armed as he was, along with taking care of his goats, and it was peaceful. Shuri visited him every now and then, with news from around the world and to perform check-ups on his programming. He had absolutely nothing to worry about, and though his mind kept straying back to a certain blond haired idiot, he did his best not to wallow too much. This was his new existence, and he would be damned if he didn’t try to accept it as best as he could.

That lasted a few weeks. And just when he was starting to get restless again, Shuri came for him. Just to check in on him. And to tell him he would have a visitor.

The way she said it was just a little bit ominous.

So now Bucky was here, in Wakanda’s capital, trying to stay calm and keep a light grip on reality. Bucky had had a lot of revelations since regaining his first few memories that day on the bridge, and he didn't intend on going back.

He showered and put on the clothes Shuri had given him, including a soft blue wrap-around shawl, much like the one he had worn in the village. It covered his left shoulder, leaving the other exposed. At a quick glance, few would be able to tell that he was missing an arm. It was a fact that he kept trying to ignore; even though he was glad Hydra’s arm was gone, he was self-conscious of the fact that now he really did only have one arm. It was an uncomfortable feeling.

But Bucky brushed his hair the best he could, straightened his posture, and stared himself down in the mirror. Like it or not, he was ready. He had to be.

T’Challa knocked on the door frame gently. “Are you ready?”

Bucky nodded. The king turned and began to walk away. “Let’s go then.”

The two men walked in silence for a bit, the hallways of the palace colorful, yet quiet, before T’Challa spoke again.

“We’ll be meeting them in Shuri’s lab, as she is showing Steve his new suit,” T’Challa smirked at Bucky as he tried to calm his nerves. “We’ll catch them on the way out.”

Bucky swallowed and began to drum his fingers on his thigh. The king only smiled knowingly at him. It made Bucky wary.

Soon, the warm, colorful walls gave way for dark metal and fluorescent lights. They turned a corner and saw four Dora Milaje lining the hallway. The guards dipped their heads respectfully when T’Challa walked by, but Bucky felt their attention centered on him. He didn't blame them.  He clenched his hand into a fist by his side, trying to release some of the tension in his body.

The dark metal opened up to reveal Shuri’s lab, white walls and tables, dark floors, and a giant wall made of windows that looked out into the vibranium mine. Computers, machines, and gadgets covered all of the countertops, and a little ways away, looking at a dark blue suit, were Shuri and Steve.

And then Steve turned around and noticed him.

They both froze.

“I hope we are not interrupting anything, sister,” T’Challa said, thoroughly amused.

“No, in fact, I think we're all done.” Shuri clasped her hands behind her back and grinned fiendishly. She walked over and stood with T’Challa, Steve following her cautiously. He stopped a few feet away and Bucky hated him for it. His entire being was screaming for Steve. But he didn't move.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve nearly whispered.

“Like an antelope in headlights,” T’Challa murmured behind them.

“You wouldn't know anything about that, now would you, brother?”

“Oh no, absolutely not.”

Bucky remembered to breathe. He swallowed. “Hey, Stevie.”

Steve’s breathing became noticeably uneven.

“Well!” Shuri began to take a step backward, “We're going to leave you two here, so one, do not touch anything in my lab, and two, please go back to your room, ah, rooms, if you need to. They should be right next to each other.”

T'Challa nodded. “We will give you two some space.”

And then they were gone.

Steve took a step toward Bucky. The orchestra of screaming in Bucky’s head reached a crescendo.

“How you doin’, Buck?”

Bucky took a deep breath. “Good.” He tried to stop himself but started taking mental notes about everything about Steve. His stubble was thicker than he remembered it being, his shoulders, while still as broad as ever, were slumped and tired, and his eyes…

“You?”

Steve’s eyes widened like he was startled by the question. “Oh. Good.” He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it.  

“What?” Bucky licked his lips subconsciously, and Steve’s gaze instantly zeroed in on it. He looked back up and met Bucky’s gaze before looking down again.

“Missed you, Buck,” he murmured quietly.

Bucky felt herself fracture into a million little pieces. “I missed you, too, Stevie.”

They locked eyes, and Steve leaned forward a bit, then stopped himself. Bucky wanted to strangle him for it, then Steve whispered, “Can I…?” and Bucky flung himself into the other man’s arms.

The screaming in Bucky’s head finally quieted.

Steve’s arms wrapped themselves tightly around Bucky’s back, one resting lower, and the other coming up to stroke his hair and the back of his neck. Bucky had his arm hooked around Steve’s neck, and pressed his face into Steve's shoulder. He was all too aware of his missing arm, but then Steve whimpered and he forgot all about that.

“ _Bucky_.”

Bucky responded by squeezing his eyes shut and pulling him impossibly closer.

Steve was warm, and Bucky hadn't registered how cold he was until Steve had hugged him. Or rather, until he had hugged Steve. Every bit of him was covered in muscle, and somewhere outside of himself, Bucky realized that this was the first time he and Steve had touched like this since before he fell. It felt good. _Really_ good.

“You smell good,” Steve mumbled from somewhere in Bucky’s hair. Bucky could feel his chest moving from his deep breaths and sighed contentedly.

“ ‘S called soap, Stevie,” he tried to chuckle.

Steve pulled back, keeping his arms around the other man, and Bucky let him, though he didn't like it. He noticed Steve's khakis and sweater and took his arm from around Steve's neck to pull at the material of the sweater. He felt Steve's heart pounding and placed his hand over it. Steve sucked in a breath and leaned in to rest his forehead on Bucky’s.

“70 years and that name still does things to me.”

Bucky looked up and found Steve already staring into his eyes. Something in his gaze made Bucky's breathing stutter, and he clenched the fabric of Steve's sweater in his fist.

“You, uh, wanna go to the room?”

Steve nodded quickly. “Yours or mine?”

“Yours.”

Steve nodded his head and detached himself from Bucky. Bucky suddenly felt cold, but he took Steve's offered hand and followed him to the room.

 

It was one of the strangest walks in Bucky's life.

They smiled at the guards who nodded back and hurried through the hallways, barely speaking. Steve led them to his room quickly and without hesitation, pressing his hand against the pad beside the door and saying, “Steve Rogers” in a level, albeit slightly breathless, voice. Bucky followed suit, and when the door noiselessly opened, Steve grabbed his hand again and pulled him inside.

The room was nearly identical to the room Bucky had changed in when he arrived at the palace, which was, true to Shuri's promise, across the hall. The only difference was that Steve's looked relatively lived in: still empty, but there was a suitcase on the floor in the corner by the couch and a mug on the table in the kitchenette.

Steve stopped abruptly and turned to face Bucky. “Do you…”

Bucky felt himself grow bold. He stepped into Steve's space, stopping just far away enough that they weren't touching. “Do I what, Rogers?” He licked his lips, knowing Steve would notice it.

Steve stared at his mouth before searching Bucky's eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

Bucky released Steve's hand and slid his own up Steve's arm, taking note of the way Steve shivered. “I don't know. Can you?”

His hand came to rest on the side of Steve's face, and the taller man leaned into it. “Please,” he whispered.

And Bucky lost it.

 

A few hours later, they laid in the bed together, blankets and sheets shoved off to the side. Bucky was curled around Steve, face pressed into his shoulder. Neither slept, but they didn't make any attempt to move either, content to just stay there in that moment and never get up again.

Bucky was on his right side, his arm underneath Steve and holding his hand. The blond traced designs onto the underside of Bucky's arm with his fingertips, occasionally sending shivers throughout the ex-assassin's body. It was domestic and comfortable, and Bucky never wanted it to end.

“Hey, Buck?”

Bucky hummed into Steve's shoulder in acknowledgment.

Steve's fingers paused for a moment before continuing their path to the crook of Bucky’s elbow. “Remember when we did this before the war?”

Bucky closed his eyes and hummed again. Steve had been smaller, and Bucky could have easily covered his entire body with his own. It was a little different then.

“And I told you that I loved you, even if you couldn't say it back?” Steve's fingers were swirling down Bucky's forearm now, and Bucky curled up closer to Steve.

Steve took a shaky breath. “You know that's still true, right? Always was. Before and after and during everything.” The hand holding Bucky's has been tightening its grip slowly as Steve had talked, and now it was clutching Bucky in a death grip.

“Til the end of the line, pal,” Bucky breathed.

Steve released his grip on Bucky's hand and turned around to face him, eyes wide and hopeful. “Til the end of the line.”

Bucky lifted his arm to pull Steve closer and grasp his hip. He pressed his mouth to Steve's. “I love you, Steven Grant Rogers,” he murmured against his lips. He pulled back and smirked. “As big of an idiot you are.”

Steve blushed and curled in to wrap both arms around Bucky's waist. “I love you too, Buck.” He slid a hand up to gently caress Bucky's left shoulder, eyes never leaving the brunette’s. “All of you.”

Bucky pressed his face back into Steve's shoulder and promised himself that one day, he’d be the man Steve thought he was. There wasn't anything else in the world that he wanted more than to make Steve proud.

So, God help him, he was gonna make Steve Rogers proud.

 

Since Steve and Bucky had reunited again, Bucky had gone back to the village and his goats, and Steve had come with him. He'd met all of Bucky's friends (yes, the goats counted as friends, but he had other friends too; don't be rude), and they'd, ah, christened every corner of Bucky's little hut. They'd held each other after nightmares, and told each other stories, and cooked, and cared for the goats, and spent hours talking about absolutely nothing at all.

It was wonderful.

But, unfortunately, evil never rests, so one morning, Steve received a call and shipped out. He promised to come back, as safe and whole and sane as ever (“Sane? Alright, now you're pushing it, Rogers”), but Bucky still hadn't been happy about it. He didn't try to stop him, though, only made him promise to return and kissed him before he stepped out of the door and left.

After that, it took him all of two days to go crazy.

Thankfully, Shuri had gifted him with a cell phone that he had been texting Steve with, and they called when they could, but Steve was busy and Bucky felt guilty for monopolizing all of his free time, so there were still hours of radio silence between them. Not to mention the spotty reception on Steve's end was a real conversation damper.

So on the third day, instead of texting Steve obsessively, Bucky texted Shuri.

**Text message, 5:12 pm**

**To: memequeen**

_i have a confession_

yeah?

_i kinda sorta maybe really really miss him already?_

ofc you do oh my god

it's been t w o  d a y s bucky have some self respect

_i_ _don’t want_ _self respect shuri i wany stevieeeee_

_send out a drone of something and get rid of the bad guys for him i need him back_

_*or_

why so you can traumatize the goats?

goat therapy that's a good idea

like goat yoga, but less fun

or more fun?? what do you think bucky

_shuri_

_steve_

bucky

goat therapy

_ugh you're the worst_

yep

haven't you been texting and calling him tho?

_i mean yeah but it hasn’t been all the time and he has such a nice face_

_i miss it_

wow. so glad i’m single

_thanks shuri that means a lot_

anytime gramps

i can set you up w better than skype tho

_better than what_

you've never heard of skype?

_no_

it's this app that my friend made a better version of, but just called “better than skype” bc she's weird and unoriginal like that

you know what just forget i said anything

i’m packing my stuff rn i’ll be there in an hour or so w a laptop and get you set up w better than skype okay

_uh okay_

_i still don’t know what that is though_

you'll get to see steves pretty face again

and talk to it

_!!!!!!!!_

lol see you in an hour

_see you in an hour_

 

An hour and a half later, Bucky sat next to Shuri at his kitchen table, watching her open an app and create an account for him. He watched, fascinated, but only barely following along. He was jittery and really excited to see his Stevie again.

“So you texted him, he's free to call you?” Shuri interrupted his thoughts.

“Oh, I, uh–”

Shuri rolled her eyes. “Do that now then.”

Bucky pulled out his phone and obliged.

**Text message, 6:49**

**To: babydoll**

_hey stevie you got a moment_

_shuri set me up with this new app thingy and i wanna see you_

**You're lucky I’m in a hotel right now with decent WiFi**

**But yes I’m free and I wanna see your shaggy face too**

**What's the app?**

_shaggy?? you wound me sir_

_and idk some video calling app i guess_

Bucky turned to Shuri, who was messing around on her own phone. “So how does this work?”

“Everyone who works with us has an account; it’s fast and untraceable, so it’s super convenient for missions and video conferences.” She glanced over at where Bucky was still cradling his phone in his hands. “Steve all good to call?”

“Yep.”

“Okay,” Shuri murmured, almost to herself, as she clicked on a symbol on the screen and typed out Steve Rogers.“I had to override the system and find him in the database so you could contact him, but for future reference, you might have to get security clearance or a temporary ID number to find someone on here. Kinda like a phone number,” she explained, “only more secure.”

Bucky nodded, fascinated.

“So, once you’ve already established someone as a contact, you’ll always be able to find them in this side menu here,” she pointed to a box that so far only had Steve’s name in it. “So, you just click on the name, and…”

Bucky tensed as a soothing chime was emitted from the laptop. Suddenly, Steve’s exhausted, bearded face was on the screen.

“Heya, Buck.”

Bucky was only mildly embarrassed that Shuri was there to witness him melt. “Hey, Stevie.” His eyes caught on a faint bruise blooming under Steve’s eye, but Shuri cleared her throat before he could say anything, sticking her head into view of the camera.

“Hello, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Are you referencing that old TV show again? Nat keeps asking me where all my cardigans are and telling me to ‘be a better neighbor’ and it’s getting annoying.”

The princess laughed. “Yes, she recommended I watch it as part of my education in American culture. It was quite enlightening.”

Steve shook his head at her, pretending to be mad. “I can’t– no I can, I can totally believe you two.”

Shuri laughed again, then picked herself up out of her chair. “Well, it’s late, so I should be heading back to the palace.” She inclined her head towards Bucky. “See you in a couple days to check up on your arm?”

He smiled gratefully. “Yep. Thanks for everything, Shuri.”

Her eyes shone with pride and something else that Bucky couldn’t fully identify before it was gone. “Of course, Sergeant. Anytime.” She winked and left the hut.

Bucky smiled to himself before turning back to the screen. His attention was drawn back to the bruise, but his boyfriend cut him off before he could speak.

“Just a little bruise, Buck, I’m fine.”

“I can still see it. How long ago?”

Steve sighed. “Two hours? I think.”

The brunet swallowed, trying not to let Steve notice. “What else?”

“Buck–”

“What else, Steve?”

Steve sighed again, this time for longer. He lowered his eyes. “Sprained ankle, bullet graze on right thigh, and a mild concussion.”

Bucky clenched his jaw. “I should be there.”

Steve’s head shot up. “What– Bucky, no–”

“I should be there, watching your six.”

Steel rose up behind Steve’s eyes. “I don’t need you taking care of me, Buck, I can handle it on my own–”

“Bull _shit_ you can handle it on your own, sprained ankles, bullet wounds, concussions–”

“The bullet _grazed_ me, and it’s a _mild_ concussion–”

“–all of those could incapacitate a soldier in a fight. You need me there, I should be there, I–”

“Buck!” Steve cried.

Bucky’s jaw snapped shut.

“I need…” the blond took a deep breath. “I need you there. In Wakanda. I need you where… where I know where you are and where you’re safe and happy and healing and taking care of those damned goats because I know you love them so much and–”

“Steve,” Bucky interrupted his rambling, “I love _you_.”

Steve barked a laugh and ran a hand through his hair. Bucky tried not to focus on the way some of it stuck up when he did it. “I know you do, you big oaf; I love you too. I just… need you safe. I need you safe, and I know you don’t need protection,” he held up a hand to cut Bucky off, “but I love you and so I’ll always want you safe and happy and _home_ because I need someone to come home to, right?” His smile didn’t reach his eyes, and Bucky tried to ignore the lump that rose in his throat. “I need to come home to you, Buck.”

The brunet swallowed. “Then come home to me, Stevie.”

Steve shook his head. “I can’t. We still have debriefs and a meeting with some other contacts and God knows what else, so I won’t be able to come home for another two, three days.”

They both gazed at each other sadly.

“I miss you, Stevie,” Bucky whispered.

“I miss you, too, Buck.”

Silence fell between them, but after a moment, Steve spoke up.

“So, how are the goats?”

Bucky smiled brightly, and Steve laughed at him, not bothering to keep a straight face while Bucky told him the very dramatic story of how one of the goats ended up on the roof of the hut today, and Bucky still hadn’t figured out how it had found its way up there. He told Steve all about the new fence he had helped repair for another villager while she recovered from giving birth to her first child, and that even though he was terrified of it, he hadn’t refused her request to hold the baby at one point. Steve let out a booming laugh and told Bucky he was proud of him, causing Bucky to smile even brighter than before.

And, well, if he was still smiling by the time he had moved the computer over to the bed and fallen asleep to the sound of Steve’s breathing, then it wasn’t anybody’s business. He had made Steve Rogers proud.

And, God, wasn’t it a wonderful feeling?

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos never fail to make a gal feel special  
> come say hi on [tumblr](https://anoddconstellationofthoughts.tumblr.com/) xx


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